<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>that's us by ynmnsoulmates</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952430">that's us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ynmnsoulmates/pseuds/ynmnsoulmates'>ynmnsoulmates</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>thai bl actors [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Thai Actor RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, a continuation of losing game, as requested by one of the readers!!, no beta we die like non</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:28:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,710</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952430</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ynmnsoulmates/pseuds/ynmnsoulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>New didn't understand why Tay was acting this way. Should Tay feel wronged?</p><p>The continuation of 'losing game'.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun/Tay Tawan Vihokratana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>thai bl actors [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. new</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefaultsinchanyeol/gifts">thefaultsinchanyeol</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">New didn't understand why Tay was acting this way.</span>
</p><p class="p2"><span class="s2">Ever since the Phuket trip, his best friend had been acting weird as if something had happened between them. The only </span> <span class="s3">weird</span> <span class="s2"> thing that had happened was sharing a bathtub together.</span></p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">But why was Tay affected when New wasn't? He didn't understand.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They were best friends, had been for many years. They shouldn't be hiding anything from each other, especially when they spent almost every day together either alone, or with Off and Gun.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The four of them were best friends, and maybe Off and Gun were something more than that but Tay and New weren't like that. Off and Gun were different from them.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Maybe it was weird that they spent Valentines' Day on a trip together, but it was already established that they were only best friends. So what went wrong?</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New thought it was the shippers' comments that had gotten to Tay.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Ever since people found out that he had a girlfriend, people were bashing them including Tay. New hated it because he knew they didn't do anything wrong.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They mostly shamed his girlfriend, but there were a couple of fans who pitied Tay for having New as his partner. As if New had done something wrong towards him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">But why should Tay feel wronged? New didn't understand.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Was it because they flirted so much on and off screen that they looked real? But they were best friends; best friends do that. Even Krist and Singto do that - and they weren't like Off and Gun (maybe). </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And ever since people found out about his girlfriend, Tay had stopped being his best friend.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He missed the random messages, the video calls, the outings, the blatant flirting and skinship. He missed how Tay would look after him as a Phi, how he would make sure to meet New consistently so that they wouldn't miss each other.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They were a constant in each other's daily lives, but now it seems that Tay wants to stop being that.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Whenever he asks Off about Tay, the male wouldn't tell him anything as if he really did something wrong towards the older man. He didn't understand. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And after a while, New couldn't handle the emptiness in his heart that even his girlfriend can't fill.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He calls his older best friend somewhere around two in the morning, when he sat alone in his dark bedroom with no source of light. He was tired of having to act like he could survive without his best friend.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He had been staying in bed the whole day, not even bothering to get up and eat because he didn't had an appetite. He didn't touch his phone either, unless it was the management or his family checking on him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He was starting to feel like life is meaningless, and he has to get himself out of that headspace.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay answers after four rings, "New?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New sucks in a sharp breath, shocked that the man was even awake, "Tae."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Hey, what's up? Couldn't sleep?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New chews on his bottom lip as he thinks of something to say, and Tay patiently waits on the other side of the phone call. He finally settles on one thing after a moment of silence.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"T-Tae..?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"New?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Could you... Could you come over?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He hears Tay sigh deeply, "New.... No. No, that's not a good idea. It's late and I shouldn't be seen on the streets."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New feels his bottom lip shaking as tears rush up to his eyes when he hears Tay's exhausted tone, and he gulps shakily to compose himself, "Yeah, okay, that's reasonable."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Why, is there something wrong?</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He grips at the sheets for support as he lets out a wet chuckle, "Listen. I'll call you some other time, okay? Thanks Tae."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"New, don't hang up on me."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I'm sorry for calling you so late. You should get some rest, Phi, so your growth hormones can be released yeah?" New furiously wipes at the tears that managed to slip out.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay suddenly sounds alarmed, "New, wait, you don't sound-"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"-thank you, Phi."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He hangs up and lets his phone fall onto the sheets as he squeezes out a pained whimper from the back of his throat. New covers his face with his hands as he starts crying loudly, unable to hold back his noises.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He doesn't see his phone screen lighting up, to show a notification for a message from Tay.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s3">i'm coming over.</span> </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Tay rushes out of his house clad only in a white, loose shirt and shorts that slightly touches the top of his kneecaps, not forgetting his slides. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He knew something was wrong when he heard New's shaky voice, and how he started calling him </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s3">Phi</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s2"> again. New rarely does that.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And calling him at this timing when they haven't talked for such a long time, with some sort of a tension between them? It's definitely worth his concern.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He rushes to his car, that he has never used before because he's too scared to cause an accident. He doesn't think much about it and drives quickly to New's place, the journey too familiar and somewhat nostalgic.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He's glad that he remembers New's house security code, so he doesn't need assistance to go inside.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">When he opens the door to the house, he gets greeted by darkness. Tay hesitantly switches on the light for the living room and observes that the area was too clean, as if nobody has touched anything for a while.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay finds his way to New's bedroom door, only to find it ajar. He could hear muffled cries coming from inside.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"New?" He calls out as he opens the door widely and switches on the light, only to find New sobbing on the bed with his face in his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Oh, New.." Tay's face falls as he climbs onto the bed to sit beside the younger while facing him, and he cautiously puts a comforting hand on his thigh.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New puts down his hands to look at him with swollen eyes and tears still rushing down his cheeks, which were painted with dried tear streaks, "P-Phi.."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Why are you crying, New? Are you-" The latter cuts him off by hiding his face at Tay's shoulder, not wanting to speak as he tries to compose himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay sighs softly and quietly runs his fingers through New's hair, letting the man regain his breathing, "You must have been in a lot of pain, hm?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New takes a moment to nod, wrapping his arms around Tay as he seek for warmth to surround his body. Tay pulls him into his lap and wraps his body with his arms, and for the first time in forever, New didn't seem to mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It took New a while to calm down.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">When New finally regained his breathing, Tay asks softly, "Did something happen?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New makes a soft sound from the back of his throat, breathing into Tay's shoulder, "Missed you."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Yeah?" Tay encourages him to keep going, hand rubbing New's back in circles while the other hand caresses his waist at the skin that was shyly exposed because of his raised shirt. Warm.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New grips at Tay's back, clutching at his shirt, "You were ignoring me and it made me feel empty. I felt incomplete without you."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay's hands falter but they continue their ministration soon after, "I'm so sorry for that, Hin."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New pulls away to look at Tay straight in the eyes, and hiccups out with teary eyes, "What did I do to you to make you act like this towards me?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay gulps nervously, but he shakes his head nevertheless, "You didn't do anything."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"You can't expect me to believe that it was your doing! </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Hin, it wasn't your fault."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New frowns as a lone tear rolls down his cheek, but Tay beats him to wiping it away, "It has to be when you started acting like this when I got a girlfriend."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"New... I..."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I'll break up with her."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay's eyes widened out of shock, and he shakes his head firmly, "Hin, no."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Yes, I will and you're not stopping me-"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"-Hin. New, listen to me. I want you to be happy, okay?" Tay desperately tries to look at New in the eyes, but the man didn't wanted to look at him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The younger man tries to get out of Tay's embrace, but the latter holds him tightly, "New, please."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New stops moving and looks at him hurt, like a puppy got kicked, "How do you fucking expect me to be happy </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s3">without you</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s2">?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head, "But she can make you happy, at least in a way that I can't, right?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"What do you mean, phi-"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"-stop calling me that."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Tae. <em>Tae</em>, I don't understand."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New sucks in a sharp breath as the both of them make eye contact, "You've always made me happy in countless of ways... If you're by my side, wouldn't that be enough?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay pulls his hands away from New as if he had gotten burned, and New could only watch as his expression grew miserable as seconds pass by. New opens his mouth to speak again, but the older man pushes him off his lap onto the bedsheets.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New grips at the sheets as he stares at the man confusedly, "Tae.... Tay?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The latter takes a deep breath, "New... I'm a man. I'm a man who can be very selfish. So it's best if you don't say that, yeah?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I-"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"-although it's supposed to comfort me, it hurts. A lot."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New sees his vision becoming blurry with tears again as Tay moves to lift himself off the bed, "We're just friends, New. You can't just leave your lover for a friend when she hasn't done anything wrong."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Tay, please. Please don't do this," He rushes to get up and once he does, he feels a wave of nausea pass through him as his head starts hurting.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He shakes it off desperately, clutching onto the last bit of strength that he had managed to conserve as Tay turns away, "Please let me listen to you. Let me make this right!"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I can't. I don't want to risk what we have right now - I musn't."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New frowns as the pain behind his eyes and below his head gets stronger, and he strangely feels like he can't breathe. He takes deep breaths, but it doesn't seem to help as the wave of nausea passes through him again.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He squints at Tay's back and reaches out for him, "Tay, wait. We can-"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The latter hears silence for a second, before a loud thud echoes throughout the room. He turns around quickly, and feels his heart drop when he sees New passed out on the floor.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"New, New? Hin, hey, can you hear me?" Tay rushes to his body and pulls his head onto his lap, before feeling for a pulse at his neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His pulse was surprisingly fast, he notices as he feels for New's temperature on his forehead. Very warm. Hot.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Shit. Hin, love, I'm calling the family doctor over. I don't want to make any theories but you probably passed out from dehydration and stress so it should be fine if we don't go to the hospital, right..."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"Or should we...?" Tay bites on his bottom lip as he slips out his phone from his pocket.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He ponders for a short while, before deciding to bring the younger to the hospital. It's safer, and it's the better option hetween the two choices.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He struggles to carry New into his car, but eventually, he speeds along the way to the hospital. He was worried, and he also feels scared. Tay has always worry for New, and now unpleasant thoughts are filling his head.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He tries to dismiss those thoughts as he carries New into the emergency unit.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It doesn't take long for a nurse to attend to him, and he finally takes a needed breath when a doctor rushes to their side. They made sure that they were out of sight, per requested by Tay. He doesn't want the media to find out.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">"He's lacking fluids in his body, he's very dehydrated. It doesn't seem like he has been eating well too according to the tests we did. We'll put him on an IV drip and provide some cold compress. He'll wake up soon - he's okay."</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The staff closes the covers behind them and Tay sighs out of relief, hand tightly holding New's as a form of reassurance. The unpleasant thoughts quickly go away, and Tay uses his empty hand to run his fingers through New's hair.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The man looks at the latter with a soft gaze, eyes downcast, "What have I done to you, Hin?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">After some staring, he leaves to get some fresh air.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New doesn't take long to wake up, but when he does, he wakes up alone. The fear eats at him as he sits up slowly and look around for Tay, only to realise that he's in a hospital, all by himself with the covers surrounding him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His eyes start tearing up again, and he struggles to move off the bed with the IV drip attached to his hand, "T-Tae?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">No response.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He starts panicking, heartbeat pacing faster as he frantically rushes to get off the bed. He tries to tear off the IV drip from his hand, "Tae!"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The covers were quickly pulled open, and Tay rushes in with confusion written on his face, "Hin? Hin, hey, I'm here."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New breaks out into a sob as Tay pulls him into a warm hug, and he could only mumble incoherent words. The older man nods along wordlessly, letting the male cry into his shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I-I thought you left me!"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I would never do that, love. I need you to relax, okay? I'm right here," New pulls away to see Tay smiling at him, the smile that he reserves just for him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The smile that he never has shown on camera. It makes New feel special, and Tay doesn't mind that.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New sniffles as he nods slowly, letting the man wipe away the tears on his sunken cheeks, "N-New's sorry."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay hums, "Why?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I chose the wrong words when I spoke to you before," Tay doesn't respond and looks away to New's hair, distracting himself by making it neat.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New whines, "Tae, please, will you listen to New?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I am listening, love," Tay speaks softly as he makes eye contact.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The younger man hides his face in the crook of Tay's shoulder, breathing warm and light, "Can New admit something?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He hears his best friend humming as a reponse, and he assumes it's a yes.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I'm confused, Tae. I don't know why I don't feel this way with my other friends, but you make me feel weird inside. You can make me feel so shy and happy easily, and I easily get flustered around you. You make me feel so many things and I don't know how to desribe them. And I can't compare you to my girlfriend, because I don't feel the same way around her. Why is that, Tae?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He feels Tay suck in a sharp breath, and the ministration towards his hair stops. New circles his arms around Tay's waist to feel more warmth, and he feels warmth blooming at his heart when Tay starts rubbing at his clothed waist with his thumbs.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"New, be honest with me, what do you think about how you feel?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">"I don't know. I only realised it just now when we were talking. I don't want to lose you and I can't see anyone else in my future besides you. I think... I think my heart doesn't see you <em>only</em> as a best friend, Tay."</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tay pulls away to look at the man, and he flashes a small smile, "Then I don't have to say anything, hm?"</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">New feels himself smiling in return, and he quickly stuffs his face in Tay's shoulder to hide the growing blush on his cheeks, and he hears Tay chuckling.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He must have lived in denial this whole time, because he's definitely an idiot. Tay wasn't only a best friend to him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Maybe this wasn't a losing game after all.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>